Monday, May 10, 2010

What if … I was confident in the presence of someone I was interested in?

So after reading other ‘What if’ posts I decided to throw one in but as a curve ball. Every once in awhile I battle with sharing more personal struggles on here, I have a conversation with myself and typically decide against it. For the most part, the people who know me in real life don’t know this Blog even exists and I am ok with that. At the same time, if I write more personal issues and I do share the Blog with the people who know me, would I be embarrassed by those things?
I was in a relationship all through college with the same person. I really didn’t do the flirting, dating thing for 5 years so when that relationship was officially over I struggled with all things related to the opposite sex. Now it is 4 years later and I still struggle. I am the most confident girl in the world when I am not attracted to someone or I consider the someone unavailable, I can laugh, and joke be myself. Not with someone I am attracted to or seems within my reach, I am the opposite. Complete opposite! I am not me, I am shy and reserved and struggle through the situation. Typically this results in people who I am not interested in or typically wouldn’t be interested in ending up liking me because they know the real me.
It has come to my attention by some friends that I am inherently bad at reading signals. So to top off the above issues, I am struggle because I don’t realize people are interested or flirting with me. Yeah I have issues! I think some of these issues spawn from the periods of my life where I didn't feel like guys were intersted in me and I truly think they wern't because I wasn't confident in myself.
So my What if… my goal is I am trying to be more open and myself when I am interested in someone. Also, I am trying to be more receptive to the ‘signals’ people are sending. So watch out world, Confident me is coming your way!

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